Lessons from Newfoundland: Being a Neighbour

I've been a terrible blogger this summer.  My sincerest apologies to you all.  If you have any advice on how to keep regularly writing, I'd love to hear it.

Today's post is something I've been thinking about for the last month.  I wrote recently about our trip to Newfoundland, but ever since then, I've been pondering the things I learned on the journey.  Newfoundlanders are different from the people I meet every day.  Who knows whether it's the environment or genetics that makes the difference, but they inspired me to work on my own attitude.

When you mention Newfoundland to other Canadians, they often respond with phrases like, "Friendliest folks on earth".  Canadian shows like 22 Minutes poke light-hearted fun at Newfie hospitality.  It may be a stereotype, but it's based in fact.  Even when we were sitting on the plane in Toronto, waiting for take-off, people were greeting one another and finding personal connections, when typically travelers are glued to their iPhones or in-flight magazines.

Once we got to Newfoundland, the friendliness continued.  We were invited to have lunch at the mother of one of Gil's colleagues, someone we'd never met before.  When we visited friends, they repeatedly said we should eat whatever we liked and feel at home, and one woman went out of their way to make all of Gil's favourite foods, even though she was busy with her only son's wedding that week.

I came away from the experience feeling like a cold-hearted city person.  In Toronto, I consider myself a reasonably friendly person; I smile at other peoples' babies and have a great relationship with one of the clerks at the local FedEx.  The truth is, however, that I rarely go out of my way to be helpful or friendly.  I like the idea of hospitality, but it's only a few times a year that I actually invite people over because I'm embarrassed about the mess and my limited cooking skills.  We've lived in this house for a year and only know the names of one set of neighbours.

How does one cultivate friendliness in a culture that is not conducive to it?  How do I work on being friendly without scaring others away?  These are the questions I took away from my trip and hope to work on in the future.  I'd love to hear your thoughts!

On Grumbling (Or Not)

When I worked at summer camp, our staff coordinator always started out training with her own set of "10 Commandments".  For some reason, although most of them have faded out of my memory in the last decade or so, #2 still stays with me:  "Thou shalt not grumble."*  It's pretty obvious why that was important.  Camp counselors work long days for little pay.  Their attitudes set the tone for the kids in their care, so it's important not to complain and whine... unless they feel like dealing with 12 children whining right back.

Since I work in reception, it's still very important to have a good attitude.  I don't want visitors to the church to hear me complaining, nor do I want to come across as a whiner to other staff.  Still, the temptation can be so strong to go home and vent to my husband about all the "trials" of my day, and while that may feel helpful, it often doesn't actually help me to adjust my attitude.  Instead, a small grumble leads to a bigger one, and now suddenly I'm annoyed at things that didn't even bother me before.  This certainly doesn't help me connect with my husband either:  He would certainly not prefer to spend our brief time together listening to my list of woes.

It's so easy to be a society of grumblers.  We hate waiting.  We hate bad service.  We hate traffic.  The problem is, most of these are unavoidable if we continue to live in cities and (usually) to put ourselves and our convenience ahead of that of others.  Living in a grumbling society, we use our complaints as a form of bonding:  "Yeah, I hate that cable company too!"  This doesn't make us any happier, however, because instead of building one another up, we're tearing other people and things down. 

Last week was quite a "grumbly" week for me.  We were super-busy at work, and in general I wasn't busy with tasks that are among my strengths or giftings.  Several times, I came home in the evening wishing I had checked my attitude more.  This week, I'm resolving to be more careful about the things I let come out of my mouth, and the attitude I am cultivating. 

What does the Bible say about this?  Oh yeah, "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe."  (Philippians 2:14-15).  Obviously, I have a lot of room to grow!


*Evidently I'm not the only one who remembers this commandment.  A few days ago, said person posted a facebook status that was somewhat negative.  She immediately received this reply from another former counselor: "Is that grumbling I hear?"