"There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage."
--Martin Luther

Tuesday, 31 May 2016

Top Ten Tuesday: Beach Reads

Hey friends. I'm awful at posting lately. I'm sorry. I've been pretty low and still am, but today's Top Ten Tuesday topic evokes sunny, lazy days, so hopefully it will be a pick-me-up. We're talking about beach books today.  I tend to read whatever I am already in the middle of on my infrequent trips to the beach, but I guess I'd say my ideal criteria for beach books are that it's not too heavy and a fast read, and something that you can put down and pick up a lot without losing the plot. I've covered this topic before, so this time I limited it to books that I've read in the last year that I'd consider good 'beach reads':

1. The Diviners by Libba Bray: This one's pretty long, but it moves quickly and I loved it. It's also a little scary, so nice to read at the beach so you won't get too afraid!

2. Moloka'i by Alan Brennert: Covers some heavier topics, but a good beach read because when  you're reading about Hawaii, you want to be enjoying some warm sun and cool waves.

3. The Royal We by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan: Fun, romantic, and hilarious. The ideal vacation book.

4. Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli: Also funny and light-hearted. I devoured this in a couple of days.

5. Walk on Earth a Stranger by Rae Carson: A western with a paranormal edge. Quick and captivating. Also note: The second book is due out in 3 months. Squee!!

6. Carry On by Rainbow Rowell: This wasn't my favourite of Rowell's books. I had some issues with it; however, I did read the whole thing in three days and it would be a great vacation read because there are wizards and romance.

7-8. To All the Boys I've Loved Before and P.S. I Still Love You by Jenny Han: So cute. I fell in love with these books and was completely surprised by how much I enjoyed them.

9. This One Summer by Mariko and Jillian Tamaki: A graphic novel about two kids at the cottage. What can be more beach-y than that?

10. The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins: A fast-moving, suspenseful read that keeps you wondering.

Tuesday, 17 May 2016

Top Ten Tuesday: Books I Picked Up On A Whom

It's been a while, but finally I've got a groove back and am re-joining Top Ten Tuesday. The topic for today is books we picked up on a whom. I love it, because serendipitous books are some of my favourite finds; especially those found in passing at the library. These are all ones I've read on a whim in the last little while:

1. Exodus by Leon Uris: I remember reading ages ago that this was very influential in the 1960s, but forgot about it until I saw Exodus at the library and checked it out. I also volunteer regularly at the Holocaust library, which probably accounts for my interest in the subject matter!

2. My Age of Anxiety by Scott Stossel: This book was on display at the library and the title shouted out to me, seeing as I've suffered from growing anxiety over the past little while. It ended up being fascinating.

3. Heir to the Empire by Timothy Zahn: Okay, this may be slightly embarrassing, but I am a big Star Wars nerd, and my friend happened to mention reading the novels when she was younger.

4. City of Bones by Cassandra Clare: Another one I happened to spot at the library. Don't hate me, but I didn't actually like it very much. *ducks and runs*

5. Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor: I found myself unexpectedly downtown and wanted a book to read on the subway ride home. Found a public library and grabbed this off the shelf.

6. The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer: The cover intrigued me when I was browsing e-book loans.

7. A Backpack, A Bear, and Eight Crates of Vodka by Lev Golinkin: With a title like that, who wouldn't grab it off the shelf?

8. All Good Things: From Paris to Tahiti: Life and Longing by Sarah Turnbull: My friend posted a picture of the cover, and I was intrigued enough to go grab it from the library. I loved it.

9. Eden by Yael Hedaya: Another one on display at the library. It turned out to be extra poignant because it opens with a brutally honest discussion of infertility, and I read it when we first started infertility treatment.

10. The Story of Yiddish by Neal Karlen: This is the only book on the list that I actually bought, and the only one that I haven't read yet. As noted above, I volunteer at the Holocaust library, so I've been exposed to a lot more Yiddish lately and happened to see this at the book store.

Saturday, 14 May 2016

I'm Tired

I thought I'd be blogging up a storm when I finished university, and I haven't. I'm sorry. I'd like to say that life got hectic, and there were certainly some hectic weeks, but the truth is that I ran out of words to say. I've found myself emotionally exhausted.

I'm just so tired. I'm tired of infertility. I'm tired of talking about it all the time, and I'm tired of *having* to talk about it because if I don't, hardly anyone is sensitive.

I'm tired of feeling guilty for a million reasons: Guilt that my husband isn't a father yet and my mother isn't a grandmother. Guilt that I still struggle so much emotionally. Guilt that my depression has left me unable to do as much at home as I should. Guilt that people have to walk on eggshells around me and that I can't just "get over it". I know this is not good, because my mom struggles a lot with guilt and it hasn't always been the best for our relationship, but I still walk around with this rock on me.

I'm tired of nosy questions and having to grit my teeth and smile when yet another person asks why we don't have children. It is not your business.

I'm tired of being phased out of friendships, either because I'm not positive enough, or because I can't maintain relationships where I am expected to listen to every detail about their children but honest discussion of the deepest issues of my heart is off-limits because it's too "uncomfortable".

I'm tired of the cycle of hope-and-disappointment, month after month, year after year.

I'm tired of being afraid that I sound down and sad on my blog, and feeling like I ought to end on a thoughtful or positive note, when some days I just can't.