This is my last night as a single lady.
I'm not really sure how I should feel now. Excited? Nervous?
Relieved that the hubbub of wedding planning is actually over? I
guess I feel all of these things, and none of them, not to mention
overwhelmingly tired.
The truth is, I think we never know
just how to feel on the eve of a big change. Thinking back, I barely
remember the “last nights” to some of my momentous occasions.
Last night before university – no memory. Last night before moving
oversees – coffee with a friend. There is the sense that I ought
to do something commemorative, but I am just thinking of the things
that I won't do again: I won't live with a female friend and stay up
way too late meandering through conversation topics. I won't take
off for a weekend away on a moment's notice. I won't daydream about
the man I will marry.
But for every “I won't” is an “I
will” that I don't know yet, and it's exciting to think that in the
morning, we get to start learning what they are.
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