The big question is: How do I know that I trust God? Is it a gut feeling? That doesn't seem right, because trust isn't all about feelings. I don't get into an airplane with an overwhelming "feeling" of trusting the laws of aerodynamic. The fact that I got into the airplane at all is evidence that I trust the plane will take off, travel, and land without risk to my life. I don't have a gut feeling that I trust my husband, but show that I trust him by sharing my life with him without fearing that he will take advantage of me or abuse me or be unfaithful.
So how do I know that I trust God? It's not about putting myself into dangerous situations and knowing He will protect me (although it's possible that He will require me to go into dangerous situations). He's not the Edward Cullen to my Bella Swan, after all. ;) Part of it is obviously obedience: I trust God by obeying His commands, without worrying that I'm being deprived in some way. Maybe in part, it's also a bit like trusting Gil. I share my life with God, through prayer and Bible reading (slacking a bit on that lately...) and being mindful of Him at all times, and trusting that He will use that for my good.
Today I planted our vegetable garden. After
I've been reading the book of Ruth over the past few days, and am reminded once again how the most difficult ordeals can ultimately end well. It doesn't negate the difficult part or mean we have to pretend it was all easy, but it does mean that I can be confident that God is doing *something* through this lean year, even if that something leads to a path I hadn't anticipated.