Today at The Broke and the Bookish, the topic is books we've read in the past year(ish) that are outside of our usual reading preferences or outside of our comfort zone. In case you haven't figured this out, I have fairly eclectic tastes, so I'm not sure what my 'comfort zone' is, but here are a few that stood out from the past year.
Outside Of My Comfort Zone Reads
1. The Inconvenient Indian by Thomas King: This book was difficult to read, because it forced me to confront the history that I'd been taught in school and the privileges that I hold as a white person in Canada. It was a good book, but challenging to process.
2. The Orenda by Joseph Boyden: I LOVED this book, but it was difficult. It's a heavy read, and there is violence and abuse in it, and even more, as with The Inconvenient Indian, it forces Canadians to see our own history from a different perspective.
3. Being Mortal by Atul Gawande: I've blogged previously about how much I loved this book, but it was outside of my comfort zone, because I don't like thinking about the fact that my parents will get older and their health will decline (as will mine, obviously). I don't like having to think about the decisions we'll have to make one day. Having grandparents that have recently moved into assisted living, it was a really poignant read.
Atypical Books (For Me)
4. Heir to the Empire by Timothy Zahn: I have been a die-hard Star Wars fan since childhood, so I got on a kick shortly after watching the most recently film, even though I tend to dislike traditional science fiction (i.e., books with aliens and spaceships). I can't say this was my favourite book of the year, but it was fun to read more about some of my old friends Han and Leia, so I'll probably read the rest of the trilogy.
5. Orange Is the New Black by Piper Kerman: I never saw the TV show, and I tend to be very skeptical of popular memoirs, but something about this intrigued me.
6. Salamander: The Story of the Mormon Forgery Murders by Linda Sillitoe and Allan D. Roberts: The truth is, I only read this because we were doing a school presentation on the Mormon forgeries. It is the opposite of the kind of book I would usually pick up, since I generally have no interest in true crime. Also, this book was massively in need of a good edit....
7. Walk on Earth a Stranger by Rae Carson: I don't typically read Westerns, but this one was great!
8. The Girl with all the Gifts by M.R. Carey: I read this for a book club, but generally horror is not my thing.
9. The Key to Rebecca by Ken Follett: I read this book because I took part in a summer reading challenge, and I needed a bestseller from the year of my birth (1980). I can't say I liked this book. I'm not a huge fan of spy thrillers and this wasn't particularly well-written, but oh well.
10. The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman: This was my first introduction to Neil Gaiman. I think I get him a bit more now that I've read American Gods, but at first I was twisting my brain trying to figure out all the symbolism in The Ocean at the End of the Lane.
Sunday, 21 February 2016
Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
One year ago tonight, I was at my friend's apartment watching the Academy Awards and putting last-minute touches on an assignment due the next day, when I got a text saying that my friend Blaire and her unborn son had passed away. We were counting down the short weeks until her baby would make his appearance, and instead we never got to see him or celebrate.
The title of this blog post refers to a song from the musical Rent, which asks the question: "How do you measure a year in the life?" When we look back on a year, we remember the moments, the celebrations, the pains. When I look on a year without Blaire, I instead remember the moments we didn't get to share, the occasions that were once celebratory and now are times of mourning, the birthdays unmarked, and the times when I wanted to share a thought or a joke with her, and instead remembered that I can't. Now I will never know what Blaire thought about Rent, or Donald Trump's candidacy (though I have a pretty good idea.....), what she name she would have suggested for my new cat, or a myraid of other things that have happened since February 22, 2015. I am sad today, and every day, for the conversations we never had.
How do I measure a year without you, Blaire? How do I face another year when we won't get to laugh together or discuss Oscar fashions or just do life? I don't know. I guess we do it one minute at a time.
The title of this blog post refers to a song from the musical Rent, which asks the question: "How do you measure a year in the life?" When we look back on a year, we remember the moments, the celebrations, the pains. When I look on a year without Blaire, I instead remember the moments we didn't get to share, the occasions that were once celebratory and now are times of mourning, the birthdays unmarked, and the times when I wanted to share a thought or a joke with her, and instead remembered that I can't. Now I will never know what Blaire thought about Rent, or Donald Trump's candidacy (though I have a pretty good idea.....), what she name she would have suggested for my new cat, or a myraid of other things that have happened since February 22, 2015. I am sad today, and every day, for the conversations we never had.
How do I measure a year without you, Blaire? How do I face another year when we won't get to laugh together or discuss Oscar fashions or just do life? I don't know. I guess we do it one minute at a time.
Sunday, 14 February 2016
Happy Valentine's Day
I'm not a huge V-Day fan, but in the celebration of love in its many forms, I dedicate this valentine to all my loyal readers. Love you all!
Tuesday, 9 February 2016
Top Ten Tuesday: Valentine's Day Edition
Ah, Valentine's Day. So, this one time, I went to see the movie Titanic in theatres with my friend. (Yes, I am that old.) We went out for coffee beforehand, and I thought my friend was next to me, so I leaned and said suggestively, "It's almost Valentine's Day...." Yeah, that wasn't my friend. It was a man. It was very awkward. And that, friends, is my best V-day story.
Anyway, now it *is* almost Valentine's Day, and today's Top Ten Tuesday topic is anything Valentine's related, so I'm doing my favourite couples from literature.
1. Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe from Anne of Green Gables: Duh.
2. Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy from Pride and Prejudice: You all saw that coming too, didn't you?
3. Constantine Levin and Kitty from Anna Karenina: That would be the *other* lovers from the book, the less depressing ones. I adore this couple. Their engagement is the cutest thing ever.
4. Margaret Hale and Mr Thornton from North and South: This is one of my favourite books and I love this couple. It's like Pride and Prejudice, but with some politics and the Industrial Revolution mixed in. Margaret Hale is so feisty.
5. Henry and Clare de Tamble from The Time Traveler's Wife: Swoon!
6. Maud Bailey and Roland Mitchell from Possession: Two academic nerds who fall in love while solving a literary mystery. Be still my heart!
7. Anne Eliot and Captain Wentworth in Persuasion: I love this happily-ever-after moment.
8. Lou and Will from Me Before You: Pardon me while I bawl my eyes out, but this love story is so tragic and beautiful.
9. Eleanor and Park from Eleanor and Park: A modern-day Romeo and Juliet. I loved their quirky romance.
10. Alana and Marko from the Saga series of graphic novels: They both have such strong personalities, and they go through so much to stay together.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Anyway, now it *is* almost Valentine's Day, and today's Top Ten Tuesday topic is anything Valentine's related, so I'm doing my favourite couples from literature.
1. Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe from Anne of Green Gables: Duh.
2. Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy from Pride and Prejudice: You all saw that coming too, didn't you?
3. Constantine Levin and Kitty from Anna Karenina: That would be the *other* lovers from the book, the less depressing ones. I adore this couple. Their engagement is the cutest thing ever.
4. Margaret Hale and Mr Thornton from North and South: This is one of my favourite books and I love this couple. It's like Pride and Prejudice, but with some politics and the Industrial Revolution mixed in. Margaret Hale is so feisty.
5. Henry and Clare de Tamble from The Time Traveler's Wife: Swoon!
6. Maud Bailey and Roland Mitchell from Possession: Two academic nerds who fall in love while solving a literary mystery. Be still my heart!
7. Anne Eliot and Captain Wentworth in Persuasion: I love this happily-ever-after moment.
8. Lou and Will from Me Before You: Pardon me while I bawl my eyes out, but this love story is so tragic and beautiful.
9. Eleanor and Park from Eleanor and Park: A modern-day Romeo and Juliet. I loved their quirky romance.
10. Alana and Marko from the Saga series of graphic novels: They both have such strong personalities, and they go through so much to stay together.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Tuesday, 2 February 2016
Top Ten Tuesday: Favourite Historical Settings
I looooooove history. I mean, I majored in it, and I still read a lot of history books for pleasure. I also like historical fiction, but I am super picky about inaccuracies, so I am frequently disappointed. Today at Top Ten Tuesday, the topic is favourite historical settings OR settings you'd like to read more of. I'm doing a little bit of both.
Favourite Settings
1. Nineteenth Century Russia: No surprise for here, given I'm a die-hard russophile. Actually, I'd extend this back into the eighteenth century too, since I am fascinated by Catherine the Great.
2. Mid-twentieth Century USSR: I'm thinking the 30s to the 50s. There was so much going on in this period, like intrigues, purges, war, but also art and literature.
3. World War II: Predominantly in Europe, but I'm fascinated by WWII and will read books about many contexts including China (Shanghai Girls), Malaysia (Breaking the Tongue), and Kenya (Nowhere in Africa - a fabulous film by the way).
4. Tudor England: When I was a kid, I was obsessed with Queen Elizabeth I, and that interest has never died.
5. 1960s North America: It was definitely an era of change, and I find it fascinating.
6. Victorian England: I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the fashion...
7. Ancient Rome: I've never been a classics scholar, but books that take place in this time period really draw me in. One of my favourites is the Mark of the Lion series by Francine Rivers.
Settings I'd Like to Read More of:
8. Historical India: I've read a few books, but not nearly enough.
9. Australia and New Zealand: Sadly, I know very little about the history of these countries, even though we are culturally so similar. Last year, I read Swords and Crowns and Rings on a friend's recommendation, and it was really interesting, so hopefully I'll get to more Australian historical fiction at some point.
10. Pre-Columbus Americas: I don't know that I've read anything that falls into this category, but I would love to find books that fit the bill.
What about you, readers? What are your favourite historical settings?
Favourite Settings
1. Nineteenth Century Russia: No surprise for here, given I'm a die-hard russophile. Actually, I'd extend this back into the eighteenth century too, since I am fascinated by Catherine the Great.
2. Mid-twentieth Century USSR: I'm thinking the 30s to the 50s. There was so much going on in this period, like intrigues, purges, war, but also art and literature.
3. World War II: Predominantly in Europe, but I'm fascinated by WWII and will read books about many contexts including China (Shanghai Girls), Malaysia (Breaking the Tongue), and Kenya (Nowhere in Africa - a fabulous film by the way).
4. Tudor England: When I was a kid, I was obsessed with Queen Elizabeth I, and that interest has never died.
5. 1960s North America: It was definitely an era of change, and I find it fascinating.
6. Victorian England: I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the fashion...
7. Ancient Rome: I've never been a classics scholar, but books that take place in this time period really draw me in. One of my favourites is the Mark of the Lion series by Francine Rivers.
Settings I'd Like to Read More of:
8. Historical India: I've read a few books, but not nearly enough.
9. Australia and New Zealand: Sadly, I know very little about the history of these countries, even though we are culturally so similar. Last year, I read Swords and Crowns and Rings on a friend's recommendation, and it was really interesting, so hopefully I'll get to more Australian historical fiction at some point.
10. Pre-Columbus Americas: I don't know that I've read anything that falls into this category, but I would love to find books that fit the bill.
What about you, readers? What are your favourite historical settings?
Wednesday, 27 January 2016
Infertility and Depression: Let's Talk
I am writing this as part of the Bell "Let's Talk" campaign, which aims to reduce the stigma of mental illness.
Let me give you a hypothetical scenario: Imagine that for about 18 months now, your friend has been intermittently complaining about pain in her leg. She doesn't mention it every time you speak, but often enough that you realize it's an ongoing problem. You start to realize that she's actually cut back on social engagements due to this pain. She has not seen some of her friends because they always want to go out and do active things, but she can't go with them because of this pain. She seems to have given up on it ever getting better, and you get the sense that this is something that troubles her most days, if not all the time, and it seems to be getting worse.
What would you do? If you were her sister, or her close friend, you would probably be nagging her to go to the doctor. You would point out that this could be something serious, that you are really concerned. You might even offer to take her to the doctor yourself. If you knew a specialist, maybe you'd call them to try to get her in. You wouldn't just accept it or tell her to figure it out herself.
Yet, friends, this is what we do with depression. It happens all the time. It has happened to me. I cannot tell you how many people that I have talked to in the past 18 months, how many times I have said that I'm sad, that I cry most days, that I feel hopeless, that I struggle with feeling like I've lost many of my friends because I can't relate to their lives as parents. Some people act sympathetic, while others are clearly uncomfortable. Even my former doctor said she was concerned that I was showing signs of depression, but her response was to tell me to come back in 6 months and we'd talk about whether it was worse. (This is part of the reason why she is my former doctor and not my current one....) Yet no one ever stepped in. A few people suggested counseling, and one promised to follow-up with some contacts and never did. I'm not saying this to blame people, but rather to point out the difference in how we treat depression versus physical illnesses. If I had cancer, all of these people would be bending over backwards to help, bringing meals, driving me to treatments. I know this because I know and love these people. But when it's mental illness and not physical, we step back, because it feels so personal and we don't know how to help. As a result, those who are suffering in darkness get the message that it's "their" problem and that, as one person recently told me, "Only YOU can figure out how to help yourself." Is that true? Maybe, but would you say that to me if I had diabetes or cancer? Probably not.
The truth is, infertility and depression go hand in hand. Lots of sources corroborate this. It is hard to describe how debilitating the emotions surrounding infertility can be. There is something spectacularly awful when you fail at a reproductive norm; it's like you have actually failed at being a human being. Then you go into tests that are often embarrassing, and you often end up with hormonal supplements that play with your emotions. To add to that, for women especially the culture around motherhood is all-encompassing. It can be hard to make friends, because after a certain age, women's lives often revolve around children. This leaves childless women and single women out. It's hard. It's isolating. It is honestly a recipe for depression, and yet so many people brush it off with comments like, "You don't realize how hard it is to have children" or "You'll get there someday." Maybe, but a person struggling in darkness doesn't need someday, she needs help right now. She needs a hand to help her get out of the pit.
"Why can't you ask for help?" many will ask. "Why can't you pull yourself out?" The answers are as varied as the sufferers. Sometimes we ask, and are rebuffed, so we learn not to speak up. Sometimes the pit is too deep and too dark. When you are infertile, sadness and futility can easily become the norm. It's not as though I went to bed cheerful and woke up deeply depressed. My walk into depression was like walking into the ocean, where before I knew it, I was in over my head. It became normal to feel low, and then to feel sad. Treatments were difficult, and disappointment came month after month after month. After a while, it seemed incomprehensible not to be sad, to think that I could ever be happy when the dream I had had for my whole life had collapsed. After a while, it felt like the pit was all I knew.
If you are in the pit, please please keep speaking up. You may have to scream and shout, but do it until someone listens. If no one else will listen, I will. Email me if you need to. Being depressed does not mean that you are weak or that there is something wrong with you. It just means that you need help finding the light.
If you have a close friend who is infertile, really listen in to what he or she is saying. Don't ignore signs of depression or other mental illness. Come alongside others, urge them to see a doctor or to look into counseling, and don't let it slide. Many people like me are just waiting for someone to really see them, to realize that they are losing part of themselves, that this isn't normal. Don't let it happen without a fight. Sometimes the most loving thing you can say is, "You need help. Let me get it with you."
What's the end of my story? I don't know yet. I've seen two counselors, and neither one was a great fit for me, and I wasn't able to get another appointment until the end of February. I am strong enough to advocate for myself, but I know that not everyone is, so I want to keep the dialogue alive. "Let's Talk."
Let me give you a hypothetical scenario: Imagine that for about 18 months now, your friend has been intermittently complaining about pain in her leg. She doesn't mention it every time you speak, but often enough that you realize it's an ongoing problem. You start to realize that she's actually cut back on social engagements due to this pain. She has not seen some of her friends because they always want to go out and do active things, but she can't go with them because of this pain. She seems to have given up on it ever getting better, and you get the sense that this is something that troubles her most days, if not all the time, and it seems to be getting worse.
What would you do? If you were her sister, or her close friend, you would probably be nagging her to go to the doctor. You would point out that this could be something serious, that you are really concerned. You might even offer to take her to the doctor yourself. If you knew a specialist, maybe you'd call them to try to get her in. You wouldn't just accept it or tell her to figure it out herself.
Yet, friends, this is what we do with depression. It happens all the time. It has happened to me. I cannot tell you how many people that I have talked to in the past 18 months, how many times I have said that I'm sad, that I cry most days, that I feel hopeless, that I struggle with feeling like I've lost many of my friends because I can't relate to their lives as parents. Some people act sympathetic, while others are clearly uncomfortable. Even my former doctor said she was concerned that I was showing signs of depression, but her response was to tell me to come back in 6 months and we'd talk about whether it was worse. (This is part of the reason why she is my former doctor and not my current one....) Yet no one ever stepped in. A few people suggested counseling, and one promised to follow-up with some contacts and never did. I'm not saying this to blame people, but rather to point out the difference in how we treat depression versus physical illnesses. If I had cancer, all of these people would be bending over backwards to help, bringing meals, driving me to treatments. I know this because I know and love these people. But when it's mental illness and not physical, we step back, because it feels so personal and we don't know how to help. As a result, those who are suffering in darkness get the message that it's "their" problem and that, as one person recently told me, "Only YOU can figure out how to help yourself." Is that true? Maybe, but would you say that to me if I had diabetes or cancer? Probably not.
The truth is, infertility and depression go hand in hand. Lots of sources corroborate this. It is hard to describe how debilitating the emotions surrounding infertility can be. There is something spectacularly awful when you fail at a reproductive norm; it's like you have actually failed at being a human being. Then you go into tests that are often embarrassing, and you often end up with hormonal supplements that play with your emotions. To add to that, for women especially the culture around motherhood is all-encompassing. It can be hard to make friends, because after a certain age, women's lives often revolve around children. This leaves childless women and single women out. It's hard. It's isolating. It is honestly a recipe for depression, and yet so many people brush it off with comments like, "You don't realize how hard it is to have children" or "You'll get there someday." Maybe, but a person struggling in darkness doesn't need someday, she needs help right now. She needs a hand to help her get out of the pit.
"Why can't you ask for help?" many will ask. "Why can't you pull yourself out?" The answers are as varied as the sufferers. Sometimes we ask, and are rebuffed, so we learn not to speak up. Sometimes the pit is too deep and too dark. When you are infertile, sadness and futility can easily become the norm. It's not as though I went to bed cheerful and woke up deeply depressed. My walk into depression was like walking into the ocean, where before I knew it, I was in over my head. It became normal to feel low, and then to feel sad. Treatments were difficult, and disappointment came month after month after month. After a while, it seemed incomprehensible not to be sad, to think that I could ever be happy when the dream I had had for my whole life had collapsed. After a while, it felt like the pit was all I knew.
If you are in the pit, please please keep speaking up. You may have to scream and shout, but do it until someone listens. If no one else will listen, I will. Email me if you need to. Being depressed does not mean that you are weak or that there is something wrong with you. It just means that you need help finding the light.
If you have a close friend who is infertile, really listen in to what he or she is saying. Don't ignore signs of depression or other mental illness. Come alongside others, urge them to see a doctor or to look into counseling, and don't let it slide. Many people like me are just waiting for someone to really see them, to realize that they are losing part of themselves, that this isn't normal. Don't let it happen without a fight. Sometimes the most loving thing you can say is, "You need help. Let me get it with you."
What's the end of my story? I don't know yet. I've seen two counselors, and neither one was a great fit for me, and I wasn't able to get another appointment until the end of February. I am strong enough to advocate for myself, but I know that not everyone is, so I want to keep the dialogue alive. "Let's Talk."
Tuesday, 26 January 2016
Ten Actors that Embodied a Fictional Character: An Alan Rickman Tribute
Today's Top Ten Tuesday topic is a freebie, so I'm using it to tip my hat and raise my wand to Alan Rickman, who passed away on January 14. Rickman was a wonderfully talented actor whose career I had followed since watching him as Colonel Brandon in Sense and Sensibility. I have since seen him in at least a dozen films, but I think most Harry Potter devotees would say that his portrayal of Severus Snape was beyond fantastic, that he truly became that character. Here is my tribute to fictional characters that I feel were really captured by the actors that played them. (I'm trying to limit this to cases where I've both seen the films AND read the books, so if you notice a glaring absence, it's probably because I rarely go to the movies!)
1. Alan Rickman as Severus Snape in the Harry Potter series: Obbbbviously.
2. Rupert Grint as Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter series: There are so many fabulous actors in the series, but to me, Rupert Grint really is Ron. His expressions just kill me every time. The love potion scene is one of my all-time favourites.
3. Colin Firth as Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice: Sorry Matthew Macfadyen fans, but you're all wrong. :P If I had a part B to this entry, it would be Colin Firth as Mark Darcy in the Bridget Jones films, because he is just the only Darcy the world needs!
4. Megan Follows as Anne of Green Gables: I grew up watching this mini-series and it is near and dear to my heart. I cannot imagine anyone else being Anne. RIP Jonathan Crombie. :(
5. Winona Ryder as Jo March in Little Women: I know there are several adaptations of this story, and I have seen a couple of them, but I just love the 1994 film version, and I felt like Winona really captured Jo's unique personality.
6. Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings trilogy: Is there any doubt? When I hear him speak in interviews, I am always taken aback because in my mind, he is Aragorn.
7. Vivien Leigh as Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With the Wind: I think she managed to capture a character who is actually quite complicated. Scarlett seems vapid and selfish from the get-go, but she's also tough and intelligent. I've always had an admiration for her as a woman who fought for survival and to be taken seriously, even if sometimes I balked at her methods. Leighs performance was perfection.
8. Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird: His portrayal was so good that it's hard to really separate the idea of Atticus from Gregory Peck, at least to me.
9. Jack Nicholson as Randle McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: Honestly, it was a toss-up for this because I also thought of Nicholson in The Shining. He does crazy really, really well....
10. Noomi Rapace as Lisbeth Salander in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (and sequels): Obviously Rapace is not the only Lisbeth, because they made a set of English language adaptations too, but I thought she did a fantastic job and found no need to see the films again in English.
RIP Alan Rickman. We will miss you always.
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| Pardon me while I weep uncontrollably... |
1. Alan Rickman as Severus Snape in the Harry Potter series: Obbbbviously.
2. Rupert Grint as Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter series: There are so many fabulous actors in the series, but to me, Rupert Grint really is Ron. His expressions just kill me every time. The love potion scene is one of my all-time favourites.
3. Colin Firth as Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice: Sorry Matthew Macfadyen fans, but you're all wrong. :P If I had a part B to this entry, it would be Colin Firth as Mark Darcy in the Bridget Jones films, because he is just the only Darcy the world needs!
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| Source (and more memes) found here. |
4. Megan Follows as Anne of Green Gables: I grew up watching this mini-series and it is near and dear to my heart. I cannot imagine anyone else being Anne. RIP Jonathan Crombie. :(
5. Winona Ryder as Jo March in Little Women: I know there are several adaptations of this story, and I have seen a couple of them, but I just love the 1994 film version, and I felt like Winona really captured Jo's unique personality.
6. Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings trilogy: Is there any doubt? When I hear him speak in interviews, I am always taken aback because in my mind, he is Aragorn.
7. Vivien Leigh as Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With the Wind: I think she managed to capture a character who is actually quite complicated. Scarlett seems vapid and selfish from the get-go, but she's also tough and intelligent. I've always had an admiration for her as a woman who fought for survival and to be taken seriously, even if sometimes I balked at her methods. Leighs performance was perfection.
8. Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird: His portrayal was so good that it's hard to really separate the idea of Atticus from Gregory Peck, at least to me.
9. Jack Nicholson as Randle McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: Honestly, it was a toss-up for this because I also thought of Nicholson in The Shining. He does crazy really, really well....
10. Noomi Rapace as Lisbeth Salander in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (and sequels): Obviously Rapace is not the only Lisbeth, because they made a set of English language adaptations too, but I thought she did a fantastic job and found no need to see the films again in English.
RIP Alan Rickman. We will miss you always.
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