April 2017 Life Update

Hi friends! It's been a while since I just updated everyone on how our life is going, so I figured that was overdue.

Work: I don't even know if I mentioned this (oops), but I graduated last June with a Master of Information, and then started looking for work. In November, I was offered a part-time, one-year contract position working on a research grant at a hospital, and in February, I started a second part-time position, also in medical research. It's been an interesting journey and I am learning a lot! Working two part-time jobs is difficult because I will learn something and then not be back for days, so that has been a challenge, but I hope that by putting in the hours, I'll eventually get to a full-time position.

Convocation!

Writing: I took part in NaNoWriMo last November and I managed to hit my goal of 50,000 words! However, I didn't actually finish the novel and it's been on the backburner ever since because I started working that month. Maybe one day, I will pick it up again. I also have been contributing to my church women's ministry blog, which you can find here.

Travel: I have been struggling with this area. Between infertility treatments and school and Gil's schedule, we have not had a proper vacation in years. We went to Barcelona last June, but that was for a conference and it was a whirlwind trip. I'm going to push for a winter vacation next year, but we may be able to do a long weekend trip somewhere in Ontario in the next few months. Keep your fingers crossed, because we really do need that time away together! There is a chance that I may go on a summer mission trip with the church in August, but I will update more on that later when it's finalized.

Infertility: There is really no update possible. I am still grieving our journey and the child that will never be. There are days when I am okay, and other days when I see nothing but darkness around and ahead of me. I am learning to enjoy the good moments and ask God for the strength to survive the hard ones.

Neville: Is cute as always. I mean, look at this face! :) This little guy gives me so much joy. We have had so many downs since we adopted him, and his boundless energy and silly ways keep me laughing during the dark times.

Miscellaneous Updates

It's been several months since I did an update post, so in case you've been on the edge of your seat from some scintillating details about my life, here you go! :)

I'm so, so close to the end of my degree. We have three - count 'em, three - weeks of class left and I'm somewhat limping to the finish line. I have four more assignments left and I think I lost my motivation some time in February. No, really, I'm working hard to be done. I had to fill in my "intent to convocate" form recently, and it's sinking in that this is really happening. It's a bit of a bittersweet feeling, to be honest. It's been a great program, but this was always Plan B. Not a day goes by when I'm not sad that I'm in grad school instead of being a mother, and when the success of school is not a reminder of the failure to become pregnant. I'm happy, but I'm sad, and I can't look back at the last 18 months of school without also being aware that they were some of the hardest times of my life. Nevertheless, I'll keep swimming.

On the job front, I don't know if I actually posted about leaving my job at the church. It was a great run, but it was time. I was finding it increasingly difficult to juggle those responsibilities with school, and increasingly difficult to be in a family-centred workplace without children. Please, please, please do not badger your church receptionist about when she will have a baby. It is never fun to be asked about excruciatingly painful personal details when you have to put on a brave face and answer the ringing phone. Anyway, I still love the church, but it has been good to have it just be my church and not my workplace. Moving forward, I've applied to a few librarian jobs and even had an interview, but did not get that job. We will see what the future holds.

I posted a few months ago about the reality of my depression. I wish I could say that things are looking rosy, but at least I do truly believe that I am slowly getting better after finding a therapist. I'm talking about it more too. It still hurts every day, and I'm not sure it will ever stop, but the dark days are fewer than they used to be. Thank you to everyone who got in touch and extended their love.

As far as infertility goes, we may be moving forward, but I'm not ready to put it all in words yet as it's still not certain. I feel like recently I've finally accepted the fact that I will not have a big family. I always wanted 3 or 4 kids, but now that nearly 3 years have gone by trying, it's time to realize that just one child will be a miracle for us. Moreover, I can't do these three years again. I lost myself too completely and for too long to think about going down this road while trying to parent a child, so now I pray that God will give us just that one child. Gil and I have not talked much about this, but I feel like we have gotten closer in the past few months as I've been more vocal about how much I am hurting, so maybe we can be a family of two and be okay with that, one day.

Star Wars kitty. The Force is strong in him.

The only other thing worth updating about is my lovely cats. They make me smile every day, even though they also drive me nuts. Neville likes to chase Sadie around the house to play with her, which she does not particularly enjoy. They are our cuddly little furbabies and I don't think I could have made it through the last few months without them

Top Ten Tuesday: Resolutions for 2015

It's almost 2015! Go figure. I want to say that this year has flown by, but I feel like it has actually crawled by at a snail's pace. Anyway, it's not been the greatest of years, and I'm not actually that confident that we have a better one coming, but I can hope, right? On that note, The Broke and the Bookish link-up today is talking about resolutions, bookish and non-bookish.

I don't really do resolutions any more. I've only wanted one thing for the past two years, and that hasn't come to pass, so it seems silly to think that accomplishing anything smaller will actually mean much. On the other hand, I do like to think about the kind of person I want to be in the new year, so here are some resolutions.

Reading-related:
1. Read more non-fiction. I didn't do too badly this year with about 10 non-fiction books read, but I was better in 2013, and I'd like to keep that up.
2. Keep reading. When school piles up, it's easy to get bogged down and not read for pleasure any more, but reading is one of the few pleasures that I can still enjoy unfettered.
3. Do all my school readings. Hahahaha. Not really likely that I'll accomplish this, but a girl can dream, right?
4. Write more, and definitely blog more. I did great at this until school started...

Work-related:
5. Be a nicer boss. School and personal stress made me a bit of a grouchy person last year. I would really like to ensure I keep good relationships with my employees.
6. Start working on my resume and maybe Linked In profile to get ready to apply for jobs when I graduate.

Spiritually-related:
7. Pray more. Like lots more.
8. Do my Bible study homework daily instead of on the night before study. This happens way too often...
9. Find better channels for my frustration. It's unlikely that my issues will vanish, and I could do a better job at managing my angst. It could be exercise or prayer (see above) or whatever, but I need to work on that.

Seems unlikely-to-actually-happen:
10. Have a baby. And while I'm at it, I might as well lose 25 pounds and negotiate peace in the Middle East, but it could happen, right? ;)

Alone This Week and New Beginnings

Sorry if this title is confusing.  I'm trying to convey two things at once.

My husband is out of town until Thursday doing medical work in rural Newfoundland.  For any new readers, this is something does 3-4 times a year.  Several years back, he had a job working at a rural hospital and fell in love with the people.  There is a serious doctor shortage in many rural communities, so people in his town have to travel hours and hours to see a specialist.  Gilbert travels back periodically to save them the trouble, and to see his buddies.  I'm proud of him for continuing this good work, but a little lonely as well!  Happily, I'll be able to accompany him on his next trip, but for this time, I'm spending his absence cramming like mad for my Chinese exam coming up in three weeks.

In other news, I was offered a new job today!  I'll be taking on the supervisory role at my current job.  So basically, before I was a part-time receptionist, now I'm the boss of all the part-time receptionists.  So far, that makes me the boss of one other person, but we'll be hiring someone new soon too.  I was really unsure of whether to apply, but I spent a lot of time seeking God's will and was encouraged by many co-workers that they'd love to see me in this role.  It's a bit daunting - I have never sought a role in any kind of management - but I'm excited to challenge myself.  Here's to new adventures!

In honour of new beginnings, here's some new visitors to our home.  I love spring!

This guy was right behind our kitchen window.

These birds were in the playground next door.

Why I Love My Job

For about four months now, I have worked as a part-time church receptionist.  It's not glamorous or exciting.  Many people have expressed surprise that I am working at a job so "beneath" my education and work experience, but in general I like my job and find that it has its own challenges.

The past few days have been really hectic.  I was transitioning back after a fantastic week of relaxing, and we have been busy with Christmas concert ticket sales, not to mention IT issues.  It is easy to get bogged down with these little headaches and forget what I love about this job, but the past 24 hours have reminded me.

Last evening I had a great conversation with a woman who had basically walked in off the street to ask some spiritual questions.  I don't want to share her personal details, but it was soooo interesting how even though we are very different, through my education I understood a lot about where she was coming from, and I was able to use some of what I learned in university to relate to her.

Yesterday a couple came into the church in preparation for their wedding today.  They wanted to set up decorations, but were short of ideas on what things should look like.  It was beautiful to see two of our employees take some time out of their busy workday to give suggestions.  The decorations could not go up yesterday, so my colleague and I came in to assist this afternoon.  I got to spend a few hours of my Saturday chatting with the couple's two friends, practicing my Mandarin (they are from China), and helping make a multipurpose room look pretty for the wedding.  Even though I don't have much of an eye for decor, it was fun and I never would have had this opportunity if I hadn't been on the reception desk.

In sum, it's easy to look at education as an X --> Y result, like if you study engineering, you become an engineer, etc.; in my experience, however, the things that you learn in school come back to help you in ways you'd never expect, and even if you don't work "in your field", you'll find ways to use your education and be stretched!

I'm a Working Woman (Again)!

Hi friends!  It's been a busy week in which I really meant to do some posting on here... but I got distracted from it because I GOT A JOB!!!

I will be working part-time at the front desk at my church.  This is primarily an administrative position, as I'll be answering phones, dealing with emails, etc.  It is also a ministry, as people some times call in with prayer requests, so I will need to be sensitive and sometimes to pray over the phone with people.

I'm really excited about this opportunity.  All this time while I was not working, I had it in the back of my mind that at the right time, things would start to happen, and in the meantime I would enjoy the time off.  Once we returned from vacation, I started to get restless and bored some days, so I knew it might be time to get back into the workforce.  Two weeks ago, I was talking to someone after prayer group who asked whether I was still looking for a job.  A church employee overheard us and suggested that I apply for this position.  It has been a bit of a whirlwind since then:  I interviewed on Monday, provided references on Wednesday, was offered the position on Thursday, and started on Friday.

This will be my first time working in a Christian environment.  I know this can have its drawbacks, such as keeping people in a "bubble", but there are so many benefits too.  I mean, it's pretty cool when your boss offers to pray with you before starting a new job!   I had lunch with another staff member and discussed the church's women's ministry.  I think this is going to be a great fit and help me get involved in this city.