April 2017 Life Update

Hi friends! It's been a while since I just updated everyone on how our life is going, so I figured that was overdue.

Work: I don't even know if I mentioned this (oops), but I graduated last June with a Master of Information, and then started looking for work. In November, I was offered a part-time, one-year contract position working on a research grant at a hospital, and in February, I started a second part-time position, also in medical research. It's been an interesting journey and I am learning a lot! Working two part-time jobs is difficult because I will learn something and then not be back for days, so that has been a challenge, but I hope that by putting in the hours, I'll eventually get to a full-time position.

Convocation!

Writing: I took part in NaNoWriMo last November and I managed to hit my goal of 50,000 words! However, I didn't actually finish the novel and it's been on the backburner ever since because I started working that month. Maybe one day, I will pick it up again. I also have been contributing to my church women's ministry blog, which you can find here.

Travel: I have been struggling with this area. Between infertility treatments and school and Gil's schedule, we have not had a proper vacation in years. We went to Barcelona last June, but that was for a conference and it was a whirlwind trip. I'm going to push for a winter vacation next year, but we may be able to do a long weekend trip somewhere in Ontario in the next few months. Keep your fingers crossed, because we really do need that time away together! There is a chance that I may go on a summer mission trip with the church in August, but I will update more on that later when it's finalized.

Infertility: There is really no update possible. I am still grieving our journey and the child that will never be. There are days when I am okay, and other days when I see nothing but darkness around and ahead of me. I am learning to enjoy the good moments and ask God for the strength to survive the hard ones.

Neville: Is cute as always. I mean, look at this face! :) This little guy gives me so much joy. We have had so many downs since we adopted him, and his boundless energy and silly ways keep me laughing during the dark times.

For the Love of Sadie

This past week was bittersweet. There were some ups: I graduated from my Master's program on Thursday and got to celebrate with friends and family, but a day before, my sweet cat Sadie passed away.

Sadie was my roommate's cat. I moved in with Dana in early 2006. She had a cat, and I had a cat. Somehow, when she left, I had both kitties "temporarily". That was nine years ago!

Sadie and Scout

She was a quirky little feline. She had the most delicate bones and features of any cat I've had. She was extremely skittish and afraid of men. When I started dating Gil, she would hide every time he came by. He didn't believe that I actually had two cats. She gradually got curious, and would sneakily try to check him out. In my old condo, the kitchen and living room were at street level, while the bedrooms were downstairs. We would be sitting on the couch talking or watching TV, and she would stand on the stairs and poke her little head up like a periscope, scoping out the situation but able to run away at the first sight of danger. The only male that she never seemed wary of was my mom's partner Brian. Somehow she loved him from the get-go.

Sadie taught me things about myself, and about love. She had a weird habit of sticking her butt in your face if you were patting her. This made it difficult to cuddle with her and have anything in your hands. I remember one time, she was walking all over me and sticking her bum in the air, and I blurted out, "Why don't you just let me love you?!" It made me think about how easy it is to love those who do what we want them to do, but the nature of real love is selfless, loving others even when we don't understand them or their motivations or they drive us crazy. I'm so blessed to be loved by people even when I am not always the most lovable.

Hiding in a box, as one does

Some people might say that she was only a cat, and I guess that's true. In the past few years, however, she was just what I needed. Sure, she didn't speak or understand my situation. But because she didn't speak, she couldn't say things like, "Sure you're infertile, but at least you get to sleep in on weekends" or "Don't you know that parenting is hard?" She didn't understand, so when I was weeping about my infertility and she walked away, I knew it wasn't personal and she wasn't choosing not to care. She never made me feel like I couldn't be sad over my infertility unless I'd exhausted every single option, or like I had to justify my infertility decisions before I could get any sympathy. Unlike people, she never snubbed me or ignored my pain any more than a cat does naturally. Unlike people, she loved me for who I was. She didn't say anything, but her presence was more than enough. So she was just a cat, but sometimes that made her the best friend I could have had in this messy, ugly, lonely ride through infertility. She was just a cat, but she was my cat, and I will miss her terribly.

I love you, Sadie Lady.

Welcome Neville!

I'm excited to announce that our family is growing... but not in the way you're thinking! On Saturday, we took in a new kitty, a 'sibling' for our dear Sadie, and his name is Neville Catticus.

With Neville at the Shelter

It happened like this: In November, Gil came home with the news that his secretary had found an abandoned kitten, and asked if we wanted her. I was shocked and didn't think he was serious. I had been sure that he didn't want another cat, and so I hadn't really thought about it. I was about to go to Florida for a few days with my dad, so I waited until I was home to say that I was interested, and by that time, the kitten had found a home.

A few weeks later, I was running an errand and found that my journey crossed paths with Toronto's new Cat Cafe. I fell in love with a cat there and got the green-light from Gil to pursue an adoption, but again it fell through because this cat could only be adopted if his sister came along for the ride, and three cats seemed like a little too much. Still, the desire to take in another kitty had settled in me, so as soon as my schoolwork was done for the term, I got myself over to the shelter and met Neville, and the rest is history.

What about his name? I actually agonized for way too long about his name, and was told multiple times by my husband that I was overthinking the issue. I wanted a literary reference, and Neville is one of my favourite supporting characters from Harry Potter. I gave him the middle name of Catticus because Gill initially suggested our cat be named Atticus based on the character from the Harper Lee novel, because, in his words, "I bet he would like to kill a mockingbird." Yes, we are those crazy people whose cat has a middle name, but no, it will not be on any paperwork!

This year has been so hard in a million different ways. We had family drama, health stresses, continued infertility, and death, and somehow I just needed 2015 to go out on a high note. I'm excited that we will get to share our lives with another feline friend.

Big News and End-of-Summer Update

I've been neglecting my blog lately.  I'm sorry.  I can't even say that it's been too busy, because the truth is that we had a slow summer.  Honestly, there were a few Top Ten Tuesday topics that left me flat, and otherwise I've been feeling pretty blah about life in general... BUT I'm back now and want to give a few life updates.

Firstly, some BIG NEWS:  No, I'm not pregnant, but instead I'm going back to school!  The idea of being a student again has been in the back of my mind for over a year, but I finally bit the proverbial bullet and applied.  My classes start this week and I will be studying Information Science to one day be a librarian!  Everyone around here must know how much I like reading, so this seems like a perfect fit for me.  I'm a bit intimidated, since it's been close to a decade since I was in school, but from the orientation last week, I think I'm going to like it.

Fertility update (seeing as I've posted on this earlier in the year):  Nothing to say here.  As you may have gathered from some of my posts in the spring, this year has been very difficult for me, and I have no cheery news to share now.  To be brutally honest, I have never before felt so isolated and hopeless as I did these past few months, which is probably why I've had no real desire to plaster my thoughts up on the Internet.

Family update:  I have a new niece!  Eve Audrey was born last week, a little sister for Ezra.  Our family is growing a lot, seeing as my step-brother and his wife had baby Luke last March.

Husband update:  Gil is fine.  We had a quiet summer and mostly stuck close to home. Even though this year has been trying, I'm still loving life with my husband, and I couldn't have made it through the last few months without Gil (and also the World cup, but mostly Gil, haha).

Mandarin update:  Stunted.  Like I said, this summer has been sad and emotionally draining, and eventually I decided I just needed to cut things out of my life that were stressing me out.  I hope one day to resume my classes, but for now I will be busy enough with school.

Cat update:  Still cute!  Thank goodness for adorable fur babies when the going gets tough.

See, she's pretty cute!

Random Updates and Fun Stuff

As I mentioned before, I've been a lazy blogger lately.  It just felt like I'd run out of things to say.  I'm trying to remember that I don't have to write something deep and meaningful every time, so this post will just be a bunch of random thoughts and updates from our life.

Is anyone else tired of winter already?  I'm usually a winter person, but this year's ice storm, frigid temperatures (-30 wind chill??), and frequent snowfall has left me longing for spring.  We are off to a conference next week in Collingwood, and I'm looking forward to snowshoeing, skating, and getting my winter groove back.

I've been making a push to get more organized this year, especially in how I spend my time.  I've realized how many hours drift away while I'm online or reading, and then I get to the end of the week wondering why I never studied Chinese or cleaned the kitchen.  I've written down all the things I want to accomplish in the week (e.g., 30 minutes of Chinese, go to the gym three times) and have tried to allot it into a time slot.  Of course, it's anyone's guess how this works out in the weeks to come.

Speaking of Chinese, I've gotten so lazy about studying.  After failing my exam last year, I took on more hours at work and keeping up with study has slid onto the back burner.  I've gotten to a level where I'm past just reading textbooks, but not good enough to practice on newspapers, for example.  This month, I've been trying to read the first Harry Potter novel, borrowed from a friend, in simplified Chinese.  It's slow going so far (like a page a day), but at least I'm reading something familiar and dear to me!

Do you like reading and cats?  Please enjoy this post from Buzzfeed.  I seriously smile at it several times a day.

I love cheesy puns.  A few weeks ago, my siblings and I were emailing back and forth about who was bringing what food to a family brunch.  Since we needed someone to get the lox, this spun into a series of silly song references such as:
--What does the lox say?
--Who let the lox out?
--Loxxxxxxxannne.
Conclusion:  We are all big dorks.

More Cat Adventures

Remember that time when my cat ran away and I got all emotional, then posted a lengthy piece on her eventual reappearance?  Well, Sadie is getting into more adventures lately, and because I'm a crazy cat lady I like cats, I'm sharing them with you, dear readers.

Last night around 1 a.m., I was awakened by strange yowling and moaning noises from the living room.  Being such a caring cat owner, I stayed in bed until I couldn't ignore them any longer.  I found Sadie staring out onto the porch at... another cat!

There was a beautiful grey and white kitty on the porch meowing at us.  He/she stared right at me for quite a while, not running away when I turned on the porch light.  I wasn't sure what to do. Was this a stray who needed food?  I've actually seen this particular cat several times.  Last week, it was carousing in our backyard with a feline friend, and one night last summer, it came onto our porch. Sadie was obviously freaked out by this other cat, but she wouldn't leave the window and yowled when I tried to pet her.

Then, further drama:  Another cat appeared!  This new arrival had long fur and was in the shadows.  It appeared to be the grey and white cats buddy, because they sniffed each others ears.  (So cute!)  At this point, I turned out the lights and the feline visitors departed.  I carried Sadie into our room and tried to calm her down.  The nighttime drama was over.

Here's my issue thought, friends:  Last night was quite cold, and it was not the first time I have seen this cat out in frigid weather.  Neither cat seemed to have a collar to indicate that it was an outdoor cat.  Who lets their pet out overnight in freezing winter weather?  What should I do if this happens again?

Gratuitous cat photo

P.S.  Speaking of ridiculous cat postings, have you seen this video????

Christmas 2013 (In Pictures)

Happy Boxing Day!  It's hard to believe another Christmas is over.  It's been a fairly quiet affair for us.  On Saturday, we had an early Christmas, exchanging gifts with my brother, sister-in-law, mom, and mom's boyfriend.  Gil and I exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve, just in case he was called in to the hospital super-early.  I spent Christmas day with my mom.  We had a mid-day brunch and cooked while listening to Handel's Messiah on the radio - pure joy!  Some relatives came by in the later and we had a nice turkey dinner, followed by Christmas pudding (yuck) and cupcakes (yum!) for dessert.

Tasty Christmas!

We had planned to drive down to Ohio today to see some friends, but Gil applied to renew his passport a few weeks ago and the replacement has not arrived yet, so we can't go to the US.  I don't mind.  We are aiming for a quiet day of watching World Juniors hockey and eating pizza.  Tomorrow it's work as usual for my husband (wait, that's what he's been doing all week....), but I am off so will be going to see Les Misérables at the IMAX with some friends and I cannot wait.

Other than that Santa a.k.a. my husband gave me a new fancy camera for Christmas to replace the one that took a dive into the Caribbean Sea, so I've been playing around with it, taking photos like these of my living room:

Woo, trippy...

Or these ones of my cat:

Because nothing says Christmas like gratuitous cat-posting.  Enjoy your day!

These Days

These days life has gotten pretty hectic, or at least more so than before.  Even though I am only working three or four days a week, fitting that into my schedule alongside my Chinese classes has meant some adjustments.  In addition to that, my brother's wedding is looming on the horizon so showers, bachelorette parties, and other family events have been thrown into the mix, so our life has been busy and will be getting busier:  Coming up in September we have weddings on three consecutive weekends.  Thank God for the invention of coffee!

The craziness lately has put blogging on the back burner, but I am aiming to keep things current on here.  Here are a few snippets of what has been going on 'round here:

1)  Work:  I have really enjoyed getting back into the working world.  My colleagues are very nice, and I am learning so much about the workings of our church.  We have some big things coming up (new staff, new ministries starting up) and I am beginning to feel like a part of the church rather than someone who just shows up on Sunday mornings.  The position has also been teaching me so much about listening.  While the bulk of my work is just forwarding messages and transferring calls, we do get people who call the church just to request prayer or just to talk to someone.  This has been very humbling, as I tend to be a "do-er"; sitting and listening is not my forte.  It's also been humbling as I learn that I really don't have answers to a lot of questions.  I am convinced that I know the One who has all answers, that is not always comforting to someone who is going through great trials.  I am learning day by day to lean on God more and to speak less.

2)  Travel:  Last weekend I went to Kingston for a girls' weekend with some friends.  We all lived and studied in Kingston together, so thought it would be fun to revisit some of our old haunts.  (White Mountain ice cream was pretty much first on our agenda.  If you've never been, you should go...)  It was lovely getting caught up with each other, but I was a bit exhausted by the end of the weekend and happy to get home to my hubby.  It was also a reminder of how much I have changed in the past ten years since becoming a Christian.  As much as I try to be sensitive and not preachy, there are definitely times when my old friends think I'm a bit odd.  Oh well!

3)  Cats:  My poor kitty has been through the ringer lately.  I had a few concerns about her health before her recent escape, but they seem to have gotten worse and the vet thinks she has colitis.  If you've never had to give pills to an angry tabby twice a day, thank the Good Lord/your lucky stars/anything else you can think of and pray you never have to!  There is a scratch on my leg that I swear is two inches long and I fear it won't be the last...

Cat Adventures

We had a bit of a crisis this past week. For those of you who are unaware, I am an unashamed cat lover. In fact, had I not met Gil, it's quite possible that I could have ended up an old lady with 15 cats... My mom and brother also love cats, including sharing photos of cats, giving cat calendars as gifts, etc.

Cat-related gifts, Exhibit A:  These are for serving cheese

This past week, my cat Sadie ran away. We don't know when she got out, but it was likely Monday or Tuesday. Early in the week, I began to notice that she had not been eating, but we thought that could be due to the hot weather. She had also stopped jumping on our bed at night, but we first thought that was heat-related as well. By Wednesday, however, it seemed really strange that neither Gil nor I had seen her in a day or two.

On Thursday, I decided it was time to act (okay, first I cried like a baby). I called the animal shelters and freaked out when I heard they had reported a brown tabby that was hit by a car, even though it was way out in Scarborough. I printed posters of Sadie and put them up all around the neighbourhood. That evening, my Mom and her boyfriend came over and helped look for her on our street, but no luck.

Gil thought it would be best to leave back door wide open, just in case Sadie decided to return home overnight. I was afraid we would end up with a family of raccoons having a party in the kitchen, but I agreed to try it if it could help Sadie come home. Around 12:30, we were awakened when something leapt onto our bed. After ascertaining that this furry creature was ours, we rejoiced. God is so good to take care of the least of us, including my wayward Sadie.

Things I learned from this experience:

1) We are woefully unprepared for a power outtage. When my mom came over, we tried to find flashlights to help us find Sadie. A lengthy search revealed two that did not work, so I pulled out a candle in a glass jar instead.... except that I couldn't find any matches. Gil finally discovered a miniature flashlight, still in original packaging, inside a box in our garage. Obviously my earlier concerns about mass disaster did not lead us to do any actual preparation

2) It's cliché, but you really don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. (Thanks, Joni Mitchell!) Lately, Sadie had been getting on my nerves a bit, but now I'm so glad to have this little furry buddy at home with me.

3) My mom is amazing. After a long day, she dropped everything to come up and help us look for Sadie. She almost cried when I told her Sadie was home. I'm so blessed to have her.

4) I was really surprised by my husband. At various times, he has hinted that my family are a bit crazy in their fascination with cats. He has said that in the future, he would rather not have pets due to the extra work involved. Though he seemed to like Sadie, I was not sure whether he would think I was overreacting by getting so upset about her disappearance. On the contrary, he was so supportive, giving advice on how we might find her and getting up in the early hours of Thursday morning to look for her when he thought he heard a cat outside the window. Gil genuinely rejoiced to have Sadie home. Though he may not want a dozen cats in the future, he does love this one in his own way.

5) God comforts His children. In the past, I have tended to really panic in difficult times, even getting quasi-hysterical. Even though I was upset about Sadie, He gave me a clear mind to do what had to be done, and the self-composure to confront the idea that she may be gone for good. Even though I obviously didn't want that to happen, I was able to rest in the fact that I could not change what had happened, and I had to trust God in the journey.

Now I'll leave you with a photo of my dear furry friend: