Feeling Blue

I've been feeling pretty down lately.  Last week was rough as I attended a funeral for a family friend who had Alzheimer's.  In addition, I'm dealing with a few other issues and November always gets me down with its grey and rainy weather.   Lately I've been feeling like life is moving so fast and I'm still getting nowhere.  Even good things, like two close friends having babies, haven't raised my mood so much as made me sad that I'm not able to see these friends and their little ones as much as I'd like.

Work has been crazy as we move into our busiest season, and I end up spending way more time at meetings than I would like.  It feels like I'm going in circles lately.

In addition, I've felt like I just don't have words to write any more.  I like blogging, but I get tripped up in keeping the balance between sharing what is meaningful to me without overdoing it.  

All that adds up to one fact:  I'm in a funk.  Friends, how do you deal with these low periods?  What cheers you up?

Medical Mondays: The Dreaded Schedule

It's once again the first Monday of the month, and that mean's it's Medical Monday.  Woohoo!  This month's link-up is hosted by Jane at From a  Doctor's Wife and Emma at Your Doctor's Wife.  We've been enjoying long weekend here in Ontario, if your definition of "enjoying" involves being awakened at 6:30am by pagers going off.

This month I'm talking about the complex issue of scheduling.  It is something I still don't have a handle on, so I hope some other medical folks will chime in and give me advise.

Once upon a time, I boasted of being a luddite.  I didn't need electronic organizers!  I had a wall calendar and a paper organizer.  I loved the feel of a brand new daytimer and enjoyed writing in the dates for the year ahead.

Then I got married to someone who loves technology and is insanely busy.  Even when we were dating, Gil added me onto his online calendar so I could see when he was on-call.  Because of my old-fashioned tendencies, I'd dutifully write his on-call weekends on my paper calendar.  As we eased into married life, however, the paper organizer became less and less useful because I didn't actually have a life to keep track of, and the online calendar became my life-line for keeping track of Gil's crazy days.

Nowadays, apart from a large wall calendar that's partly for show, I've had to give up on my beloved paper.  (You're welcome, trees!) Gil and I use Google Calendars and the Calendars + app to keep tabs on each other.  Since I work shift work and sometimes have evening obligations, it's also important for my husband to know when I'm not going to be around.  Sometimes I "invite" him to a date so he'll know he has to that evening off.  Even with the online calendars, though, life is confusing.  Honestly, I don't know how I will do it once kids come into the equation and we are dealing with doctor and dentist appointments, extra-curricular classes, etc.

Medical families, I'd love to know how you keep track of your busy life.  What methods work and which have been colossal failures?  Inquiring minds want to know!

Mini Home Tour

Gil is *almost* back from the Rock!  He should be home in a few hours.  As much as I am able to keep busy fairly easily, it's been lonely with him away.  For once, though, it seems that my actual productivity almost matched desired productivity, and I did get a lot done with Gil away.  In terms of my list from Monday:

1)  Have a mini-spiritual retreat. 
I did "fast" from secular music and television, with one exception of watching a favourite program online, and I did get back into better Bible reading habits, although spent less time in prayer than I meant to.

2) Study Chinese.  Like, a lot. 
I did a lot of vocabulary review and am energized to get my study on for the next four weeks.

3)  Hang pictures up around the house. 
Finally finished this task this afternoon!  See below for more info

4)  Organize my closets and my clothes. 
Done!

5)  Potentially set up some autumn decor.  I'm thinking a wreath may be in order...
Not at all, haha!  I seem to have forgotten that I don't have a crafty bone in my body.  I found one wreath that I loved online, but it required a glue gun, which I don't have.  And then I realized that I don't actually care, so there will be no seasonal décor at our place until Christmas.  Is it too early for Christmas decorations?  :-)

Anyway, all that to say, I know that some have asked me whether I will post some pictures of the new house.  In truth, I am really not satisfied yet with our furniture situation, BUT I decided to give you all a hint of how things are looking, so without further ado, here are some photos of my recent picture- and art-hanging escapades.

This is a little piece of our kitchen.  I found this poster in Lake Louise, AB, a few years ago and I love it.  It's framed and mounted in a fairly cheap Ikea frame.  Underneath are a couple of photos from our living room, and bedroom.

Chair free from Freecycle and a wax on canvas that my step-dad gave me ages ago

Wedding photos!  Next to the bowl is a photo of my grandparents.

 

And now to the bedroom.  This is the space between the window and the closet.  I put up some of my favourite wedding photos, one with my fabulous bridesmaids, and one with my dad and brother.

Our new(ish) bed. The needlepoint above was a wedding gift.

 I got this bedside table and it's twin (on Gil's side) off of Freecycle and spray-painted them black.  On the left is just about my favourite pic of my Ottawa girlfriends, and on the right is a great shot of me and my brother when we were little.

Our en-suite bathroom

So, there's a little glimpse into our digs.  I'm not much of a decorator, but I do love hanging pictures as it makes things feel more like our home and not just any old house!

Summer Fun

It feels like this time is really flying by these days:  We've been married 10 months already, been moved into our house for 3 months, and my "baby" brother is getting married in a mere 2 weeks!  Phew.  I remember when I thought we'd never find a house, and when I thought Gil would never get around to proposing, and it seems like not so long ago.

This weekend we are off to the cottage with some friends and I'm hoping to get a few last days of soaking in the summer before the whirlwind of September weddings begins.  Lately I'm feeling trapped in the busyness of life and have not been taking time to enjoy the moment.  So here's hoping this weekend will be full of the little joys in life:  Sleeping in, eating yummy food, holding a mug of hot coffee in the chill of the morning, experiencing the cold lake water as you step in for a refreshing swim, meeting God in a beautiful sunset, laughing with a good friend.  And I hope you, reader, are able to experience some of these joys in the last days of summer too!

Ahh, heaven on earth

These Days

These days life has gotten pretty hectic, or at least more so than before.  Even though I am only working three or four days a week, fitting that into my schedule alongside my Chinese classes has meant some adjustments.  In addition to that, my brother's wedding is looming on the horizon so showers, bachelorette parties, and other family events have been thrown into the mix, so our life has been busy and will be getting busier:  Coming up in September we have weddings on three consecutive weekends.  Thank God for the invention of coffee!

The craziness lately has put blogging on the back burner, but I am aiming to keep things current on here.  Here are a few snippets of what has been going on 'round here:

1)  Work:  I have really enjoyed getting back into the working world.  My colleagues are very nice, and I am learning so much about the workings of our church.  We have some big things coming up (new staff, new ministries starting up) and I am beginning to feel like a part of the church rather than someone who just shows up on Sunday mornings.  The position has also been teaching me so much about listening.  While the bulk of my work is just forwarding messages and transferring calls, we do get people who call the church just to request prayer or just to talk to someone.  This has been very humbling, as I tend to be a "do-er"; sitting and listening is not my forte.  It's also been humbling as I learn that I really don't have answers to a lot of questions.  I am convinced that I know the One who has all answers, that is not always comforting to someone who is going through great trials.  I am learning day by day to lean on God more and to speak less.

2)  Travel:  Last weekend I went to Kingston for a girls' weekend with some friends.  We all lived and studied in Kingston together, so thought it would be fun to revisit some of our old haunts.  (White Mountain ice cream was pretty much first on our agenda.  If you've never been, you should go...)  It was lovely getting caught up with each other, but I was a bit exhausted by the end of the weekend and happy to get home to my hubby.  It was also a reminder of how much I have changed in the past ten years since becoming a Christian.  As much as I try to be sensitive and not preachy, there are definitely times when my old friends think I'm a bit odd.  Oh well!

3)  Cats:  My poor kitty has been through the ringer lately.  I had a few concerns about her health before her recent escape, but they seem to have gotten worse and the vet thinks she has colitis.  If you've never had to give pills to an angry tabby twice a day, thank the Good Lord/your lucky stars/anything else you can think of and pray you never have to!  There is a scratch on my leg that I swear is two inches long and I fear it won't be the last...

Learning to be Slow

Once upon a time, there was a lady who never slowed down. She felt the need to be busy all the time. Between work, church, friendships, and exercise, she fell exhausted into bed most nights, and slept just enough hours to give her the energy to do it all again. One day, she married her Prince Charming who moved her to a new place where her life slowed down... and now she is learning to love the slow.

Of course, this lady is me. When I think about my life over the last few years (okay, probably more like 15 years...), I feel tired. During my time in Ottawa, it was not unusual for me to be busy every evening of the week, and that is after waking up at 6:00am and working a full day. My life was full of Bible studies, youth group, ladies missionary fellowship, girls' nights, etc. Meeting Gil made things even crazier: Now I was up even later talking on the phone with my long distance boyfriend, and going to Toronto on weekends to see him. (We're not even going to talk about how my housework suffered....) And yet, I didn't hesitate to add new things to the mix, like running a half-marathon or taking night-school Mandarin. Many evenings, I prayed to God to “please multiply these few hours of sleep ahead so that they are enough to get me through tomorrow.”

Why did I do it? In truth, I've always liked to be busy. Even in high school, my parents warned me about over-extending myself. In university, I ended up with bronchitis after a particularly difficult semester in which I took an extra class and was involved in marching band, German theatre, and a dance show; when I came down with a bad cold, I refused to take time to rest and just got sicker and sicker. There are probably lots of reasons for the chronic busyness: I have always liked to make the most out of things, so if it comes down to German theatre group or more sleep, I'll choose the theatre, because who knows when I'll get the former opportunity again. (The answer would be never, unfortunately!) In Ottawa, I often kept busy because I hated being home alone in the evenings. I value deep relationships and I wasn't content to have my main personal interactions be in a work context. Of course, then the church dynamic comes into play: If you are a person who serves at church, you will almost certainly be asked to serve in other areas. If you are unmarried and childless, as I was, you often feel like you can't say no to these requests, because it's not like you need “family time”, right? Once in a while, I had glimpses of the insanity of my lifestyle when I would get sick and actually be thankful for the time to rest. After recuperating for a day or two, however, I was ready to jump back into the craziness with no intention to slow down.

Until I got married, I had no idea how exhausted I was from this busy cycle. For the first few weeks, I was sleeping for hours after Gil had left for work. My body needed to catch up on years of bad sleeping habits. At first, I didn't know how I would cope with the slower pace of not working, but it started to come naturally: I could do things that I'd always enjoyed doing, like working out mid-day and studying Mandarin, without feeling guilty. I could enjoy my coffee in the morning without feeling rushed. I could clean the house before it started looking like a disaster area.

Last weekend, I found myself choosing the slow, and not taking on the guilt of being idle. On Sunday, I was supposed to go to a barbecue organized by my Chinese school. My plan was to wake up earlier than usual, attend the first service at my church, and go straight to the park to meet my teacher and co. All the plans went to naught, however, because I woke up way too late to make it to church for 9:15. I was about to give way to guilt, to skip church and head to the barbecue because I had told my teacher I would be there but then it hit me: I have a choice. I can choose to act out of duty, or I can choose to prioritize church and time with my husband. Okay, so I felt a bit bad because I had RSVPed yes, but in the end, choosing the slow day of a late sushi lunch after church and watching Olympics with my husband was the best choice. I'm realizing that these first months/years together will fly by, and one day babies will come and add a new craziness to our lives, so we had best enjoy the slow while we can.