"There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage."
--Martin Luther

Friday, 8 March 2013

On Knowing Yourself

Do you know your love language?  I've just started reading the Five Love Languages for my marriage reading series, and in preparation took a Love Languages quiz.  Hands-down my top language is "quality time", with "words of affirmation" in second place.  I already suspected this, but it's nice to see it officially.

This got me thinking about my moods lately.  Last week I was feeling low, but the past few days my attitude seems that my attitude has done a 180.  I was attributing this to the feeling of spring in the air, but then when I looked back at the last seven days, a theme came out.  This past week, I've started planning a visit with great friends, gone on a retreat with my youth group, and met up with a new friend.  So actually, I suspect that my mood has improved because I'm "feeling the love" from several sources and looking forward to some quality time with friends next weekend.

Of course, love languages are only one way to get to know your own personality and preferences.  We recently did tests at work to find our strengths, and I helped a friend fill out a Meyers-Briggs personality test, so took the liberty of trying it on myself too.  (I'm an INTJ, in case you're interested.)

As a psychologist's daughter, I was brought up with the idea that knowing oneself is about being able to identify your own needs, strengths, and weakness.  It's helpful to be able to tell Gil that doing X makes me feel loved, or to realize that a certain situation will be difficult for me because of my personality, so I'll have to be more prayerful and mindful of my attitude in the process.  On the other hand, we have to balance being self-aware with being self-absorbed.  We live in a world of all different personality types and love languages, so we can't expect everyone around us to cater to our own needs or preferences.  In fact, as Christians, we should be seeking to go out of our comfort zone in order to meet others at their needs.  (Tim Challies says this much better than I can in this entry.)

What about you?  Have you tried personality inventories, strength finders, etc., and have you found them helpful?  How do you balance your distinct personality and preferences with the call to serve and share the gospel in all situations?

1 comment:

  1. 100 percent I am quality time #1. Touch is #2. Gifts is far and away in last place. I am grateful Ash is the same.