But Baby It's Cold Outside

Gil and I flew home on Sunday morning, blissfully unaware that we were flying into a disaster zone.  Over Saturday night, Toronto was hit by a massive ice storm that has left at least 300,000 people without power.  (See here for more details.)  We came home to find our house dark and cold and it's still off as of this morning.  The hydro company says it may take until after Christmas for everyone to get their power back. 

Edit:  This evening, our power was back on!  Unfortunately, there are many in our neighbourhood that are still in the dark.

After moaning previously about how I had lost my Christmas spirit, I now feel a little silly.  There are worse things than having a husband working on a holiday and a lack of Christmas joy.  I'm lucky that my mom's house had power restored this morning, so I've been able to warm up here, but others have had to go to emergency warming stations to keep from freezing.

Ice-covered bush at Mom's house

All of this has made me more mindful of the first Christmas.  One of the pastors at my old church gave a sermon in which he said that "Do not be afraid" is one of the most repeated phrase in the Biblical account of Jesus' birth.  The real experiences of Mary and Joseph were much more emotional and tumultuous than the Christmas card glow depicts.  As I have had more and more friends with newborns, I have realized that new parents are usually stressed and tired, while new moms are also recovering from the birth.  I would imagine being a new mom in a stable or grotto was actually pretty uncomfortable and scary for Mary.  Why do we think Christmas should be about warm fuzzies and eating candy?

Anyway, I'm trying to be positive throughout this small trial in our lives.  We are so thankful to have family and friends with power to take us in, and for the house that our home and cars have not been damaged by the falling tree branches.  We are also thankful for a Saviour who came into this broken and cold world to take the burden of our sin from us so that we can spend eternity in a beautiful place with no mourning and death.

The people walking in darkness
    have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness
    a light has dawned.

For to us a child is born,
    to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9: 2, 6 

Medical Mondays: Sometimes There Is No "We"

It's the first Monday of October (already?) and that means it's Medical Monday, hosted this month by Jane at From a Doctor's Wife, Emma at Your Doctor's Wife, and Lisa at Life of Ray Doc's Life.  This time I'm posting about home maintenance as a medical spouse.  It's meant to be taken lightly, and not as a criticism of my very busy husband.

Last weekend, while I was in the throes of gardening, I suddenly thought to myself that home ownership is like a gateway drug. You think it will satisfy you, but it ends up bring more work and stress than you anticipated. For example, about 18 months ago, we were so excited to move into our brand new house. After spending most of adulthood in apartments, dorms, and condos, it was thrilling to have a whole house to ourselves. No more listening to the upstairs neighbour's chihuahua barking or opening three or four doors before being home.  We had space!  We had freedom!

We moved in and it was bliss. Well, that is until we realised that our house had a lawn. Of course, we knew that before, but apparently you need to mow a lawn regularly or it looks terrible and you start finding maintenance flyers stuck in your door on a daily basis. We also discovered that we had no idea how to operate the mower we had bought from the previous owners. Thankfully, my husband's colleague recommended a good lawn service, and we breathed a sign of relief.

This year, Gil had the wonderful suggestion that we should start a garden. He was really excited about this project that we would undertake, but it turns out that by “we”, that meant that he borrowed some books from his secretary and I did all the purchasing, digging, planting, and minimal harvesting. For hours of labour, we seem to have exacted several handfuls of cherry tomatoes and three small onions. Still, I was excited at this new venture and despite the lacklustre results, I'm happy that “we” tried it out.

As soon as the garden was started, Gil decided we needed to begin composting. Luckily, our city provides composters at only a minimal delivery cost. Of course, I postponed ordering one until late summer and it wasn't delivered until two weeks later, but now we can finally get started and will hopefully have great soil for next year's garden.  It turns out, however, that composting is actual work.  You don't just put it on your lawn and dump items into it.  Instead, you need to mix the compost material with leaves, twigs, and plants.  In short, to set up the composted we needed to spend considerable time raking and weeding to get enough for the base of the compost.  And by "we", I mean "me", because Gil was once again at the hospital on a Saturday.

Then something strange happened. Apples emerged on the lovely tree in our yard which last year produced lovely blossoms but no fruit. It would have been wonderful, except that we didn't realise how quickly the apples would ripen and by the time I got around to buying a “fruit-picker”, most of the apples had fallen and begun rotting on our lawn. This is why I found myself on a lovely fall Saturday bending over to pick up rotten apples and deposit them into our brand new composter. To make matters worse, many of the rotting apples were covered in bees. [Gil's comment:  "That's great!  We need to maintain a healthy bee population in the neighbourhood!"]

All this to say: We love our house, but be careful what you wish for. And now I've learned that whenever my doctor husband says “we” should start a project, it probably means I'll be doing most of it!

Productivity at Home

This weekend has been a pretty productive one.  I was able to:

1) Cook a great meal for us on Friday.  Okay, so I ate it alone because Gil was on-call and delayed, but he did agree it was delicious. (Oh, and we had a great meal on Saturday, but we made it together.)
2)  Garden.
3)  Do a few loads of laundry and fold them.
4)  Do lots of errands.
5)  Put together two Ikea shelves and FINALLY shelve most of my books.
6)  Plan out the week ahead.
7)  Go to Body Pump (all muscles in my chest still hurt...) and take a 30 minute walk.

Why is this all so exciting?  I mean, it's generic weekend stuff, and as my husband was working, I had to keep myself occupied.  I am just happy that I've had a push towards homemaking lately.  I've been reading the book Creative Counterpoint by Linda Dillow.  (Thanks for the recommendation, Jayme!)  In the book, Dillow talks about setting goals and then setting your priorities around those goals.  So if you want to be a godly woman, you need to consciously prioritize your relationship with God.  She suggested having one's home as a fourth priority, after 1) God; 2) husband; 3) children.  It seems a bit crazy to a working woman, but even if you work outside the home, the truth is that you're unlikely to miss work or to get behind on work because you're cleaning, whereas you ARE likely to use work/exhaustion/other commitments as an excuse not to take care of your house.   I realized that I'd let my home slip into priority, oh, 347 or so...

The thing is, I like my home; I just hate housework.  When I lived alone, I could get away with very little housework because it was just me and the cats, and after work, church commitments, friends, and a boyfriend in Toronto, I was never home.  Now, however, I'm around more often and my husband is.... not the neatest person.  But since Gil doesn't really care how clean the house is, I let it slip.  I prioritize myself, my hobbies, my work, etc.  Then I feel badly, because the house is messy and I'm embarrassed to have people over.  (Just to clarify, I DON'T think that housework is "women's work" or that wives have to do all the cooking and cleaning.  It's great if you can share the load, but in our marriage, my husband works way more hours than your average person while I work part-time; I prefer to make the most of our time together rather than spend it watching him vacuum the living room.)

Dillow actually recommends using a kind of weekly chart to plan out the week and write out your daily and weekly priorities.  I've got myself a white board, and am looking forward to doing this in the coming weeks.  (Right after I prioritize buying white board markers....)  I'm hoping this is the motivator I need, because truthfully housework really isn't that time-consuming, at least not when you don't have kids, but somehow making the time has been my struggle.  I'll let you know how it goes when I post my response to Creative Counterpart for my marriage reading series.

Do you find it hard to prioritize housework?  What has helped you get things done?

Locked Out!

Yesterday morning my husband forgot his keys. He was up early and I slept in, but was suddenly awakened when he phoned and asked me to let him in. We laughed, he grabbed his key ring, and we forgot about the incident.  Oh foreshadowing! Only a half a day later and I found myself in the same predicament, only worse because I had no one at home to let me in.

Late that afternoon, I threw on my workout clothes before heading out to ladies fitness at the church. I marveled at the warm spring weather, thinking how great it was not to have to pull on long pants over my workout capris. I grabbed my water bottle, pulled on my rubber boots because of all the puddles, locked the front door from the inside and stepped onto the porch... without my keys!

What to do now? I couldn't get into my car to drive anywhere. Even if I had time to walk to the church, I couldn't go to fitness in my rubber boots, and of course, Gil is on call this week and likely to be home late. I considered taking the bus to my mom's house, but that's a bit far for Gil to come pick me up. In the end I chose my favourite vestige of security: the public library.

Unfortunately, our closest library is in a mall. This is the kind of mall that is so wannabe posh that its posters describe it as "haute". There are chandeliers in the lobby and most of the clientele are my mom's age. This is where I found myself, wearing workout capris with rubber boots. Good thing I try to keep things classy!

My attractive ensemble

Thankfully, I have a sense of humor and don't panic easily. I spent some time getting caught up in my Thomas Friedman, and eventually made it home safe and sound. And hopefully I have learned not to be so hasty in locking the front door.


Update:  When I wrote this post, I was still at the mall, anticipating a quick rescue. That didn't happen.  My husband and I obviously had our lines crossed and some communication mishaps ensured that it ended up being a rough evening for both of us.  I decided to keep the lighthearted tone of my original writing, but want to be honest here and let you know that my life isn't a sit-com and by the end of the evening, I wasn't laughing my way through this experience.  I'd appreciate your prayers as Gil and I try to debrief our way through this and find ways to avoid such miscommunication in the future!

The Joys of Home Ownership: Water Meters

When we moved into our house, I swore that after over a year of house-hunting, I would never ever complain about it.  And for the most part, I haven't, but sometimes it does have its challenges.

First off, the water meter.  I remember when I was a kid, sometimes a friendly man would knock on our door to read the meter.  This seemed to happen with regularity in the "old days".  Now, however, it seems that since moving in, we have regularly received mail telling us to read our OWN meter.  I called several times to explain that I didn't know where the meter is, only to have someone explain that it's SO easy to find.  So I searched and searched, with no luck.  Finally in November, I phoned and after waiting on hold for half an hour, explained that I absolutely needed to have a meter reader come by.  Isn't that what we pay taxes for?  When he finally came a week or so later, what was the result?
...
...
He couldn't find the meter! 

Actually, after combing through the furnace room and glancing over most of our basement, we discovered that it's at about shin-level in our laundry room.  The only problem is that because of renovations by the previous owner, the meter is accessible from a square opening in the wall that is considerably lower than the meter.  The only way to read it is to use a camera and contort your arm so that you can take a photo of the meter from above.  Except you need to have the flash on, since it's so dark inside the wall.

I thought this chapter was closed, since I mailed in the little slip with the meter reading on it.  Alas, no.  Yesterday we received another letter, saying that our reading was out of date.  Did the slip get lost in the mail?  I tried in vain to figure out how to get a photo of the reading, then I turned to Plan B)  Call the utilities company and complain about how they lost our slip.  After sitting on hold for over 10 minutes, all the while googling photos of water meters, I decided to have another go at it.  This time I  was successful and decided to enter the reading online instead of chancing the postal system again.  And after 17 minutes on hold, I never did speak to a customer service agent.  Sigh... The end result is good though, as we are way under their estimate and will probably have a few months free.  I took a long hot shower to celebrate.  :-)

These are the things no one tells you about when you buy a house!  Good thing it's so worth it.

PS  I'm off to a winter retreat with our church youth group this weekend, which will likely involve lots of fun, but not lots of sleeping.  Please pray for us!

Going Natural

For the past year or so, I've been trying out ways to use more natural and homemade products around our home. I wouldn't exactly call myself a hippie, but I am growing concerned about the amount of chemicals in our houses, and often using homemade products is more cost-effective too.  I know there are people who make nearly everything, and I've seen recipes online for homemade laundry detergent, shampoo, hairspray, etc.  Personally, I don't make anything that's really time-intensive.  I could try making laundry detergent, but with only two of us around, I'm okay buying more expensive natural products as it takes ages to go through a package.  On the other hand, if a product is fairly easy to make at home, why not do that and save ourselves a little exposure to toxins?

Here are some of the homemade products I currently use:

Cleaning:  I am in love with baking soda.  I use it to scrub the bathtub and the stove top and deodorize the basement carpets.  I also pour some into the toilet tank to clean.  It is super-easy and so cheap.  Honestly, I tried a million times to clean the scuff marks in our old condo tub... When I finally tried baking soda, it was a snap.  I also use a mixture of vinegar and water in a spray bottle to clean the toilet and the kitchen counters.

Conditioner:  I've been out of conditioner for ages, so last week, I finally tried a home-made alternative.  I have a spray bottle with apple cider vinegar and water (1 part vinegar; 4 parts water).  I spray it on my hair after washing, then rinse it out.  One week in, and my hair feels softer than ever.  I'm loving this and will never go back to overpriced store-bought conditioners!

Deodorant:  Occasionally, I get freaked out about aluminum in deodorant, but I don't particularly like most of the natural products sold in stores.  Last year I tried out this recipe and I love it.  It only takes a few minutes to whip up, and it smells great and works well.  The only issue I've found is that the deodorant gets a bit melty in hot weather, so I keep it in the fridge and have a natural alternative for when we're traveling in the summer or to hot places.

Here's a couple of other blog posts with some great natural alternatives.

What about you?  Is going natural a priority for you?  Do you have any tips?  Or, on the other hand, have you tried any homemade products that just did NOT work?

New Year, New Couch

Time for a completely frivolous post! I've been meaning to post something more substantial about the new year, but this week has been super-hectic, so deeper thoughts will have to wait.

Today our new couch arrived, the first brand new couch of my adult life. I can't wait to start really setting up the living room, which has been in a holding pattern while we figured out our seating situation. The old red couch, which is actually HALF of a sectional that once belonged to Gil's friend, will go to the basement where it will match with our yellow walls. I am so happy to feel like I am halfway to having a grown-up living room... Just in time for when I host my Bible study group next Thursday.

Happy Reformation Day!

On this day in 1517, Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the door of a church in Wittenberg, Germany, beginning what became known as the Protestant Reformation. I like to take a moment to pause and reflect on the courage of Luther in standing up for Truth even when this pitted him against church leaders. If you get a chance, take a few minutes to read up on his amazing life story.

Today is also Halloween. I know Christians are often divided on how to respond to this day. Because we are new to our neighbourhood and have had limited exposure to our neighbours, I will stay home and hand out candy to the kids. I hope to at least get to know a few names and faces from the area. Bonus: Since it is Reformation Day., I feel like it's appropriate to wear break out my dirndl. That's not weird, right? (Wait, don't answer that... :-D)

A Great Day

Last Sunday was a great day.  Our church was having a ministry fair after both services that morning.  As I mentioned last week, I've started serving with the youth ministry, so I volunteered to help at the youth display.  Gil was on-call, so he was out of the house super-early anyway.  Helping out was fun, and I got to know our youth pastor and some other volunteers a bit better.

After the second service, I ran into someone I know from prayer group.  We are among the only younger ladies who attend.  She mentioned that she would be going to a potluck lunch and she had wanted to invite me, but did not have my number or phone number.  I got the information and drove out to the potluck.  It was a fun afternoon, with some games and just chatting with new people.  I left a bit early to head home before a family birthday dinner that evening.

Why am I telling you all these boring details?  Why was this such a great day?  It's not like the potluck games were the most fun I'd ever played, or the ministry fair was amazing.  The great thing about Sunday was that for the first time in nearly a year, it felt a bit like my Ottawa life.  It felt as though I was part of the church rather than someone who just shows up on Sundays.  It felt like I was making friends rather than just shaking hands with strangers at the service.  I love Gil, and I love my life with him, but it felt like I finally had a Toronto life outside of my marriage, and that felt soooo good.

Interestingly, this past week at my Bible study, we were talking about Genesis 2.  One of the leader's comments was something like, "Can we trust God to put the right relationship in our life at the right time?"  The immediate context was, of course, Adam and Eve, but it is so applicable in other areas of life as well.  It felt like I waited a looooooong time for my husband to come into the picture, but when he did, he was worth the wait.  Likewise, I feel like I've been waiting a long time to make friends at our church, but I have faith that God has been using this lonely time in my life to develop me.  Can't wait to see what He does in these new friendships over the next stage of my life!

Mini Home Tour

Gil is *almost* back from the Rock!  He should be home in a few hours.  As much as I am able to keep busy fairly easily, it's been lonely with him away.  For once, though, it seems that my actual productivity almost matched desired productivity, and I did get a lot done with Gil away.  In terms of my list from Monday:

1)  Have a mini-spiritual retreat. 
I did "fast" from secular music and television, with one exception of watching a favourite program online, and I did get back into better Bible reading habits, although spent less time in prayer than I meant to.

2) Study Chinese.  Like, a lot. 
I did a lot of vocabulary review and am energized to get my study on for the next four weeks.

3)  Hang pictures up around the house. 
Finally finished this task this afternoon!  See below for more info

4)  Organize my closets and my clothes. 
Done!

5)  Potentially set up some autumn decor.  I'm thinking a wreath may be in order...
Not at all, haha!  I seem to have forgotten that I don't have a crafty bone in my body.  I found one wreath that I loved online, but it required a glue gun, which I don't have.  And then I realized that I don't actually care, so there will be no seasonal décor at our place until Christmas.  Is it too early for Christmas decorations?  :-)

Anyway, all that to say, I know that some have asked me whether I will post some pictures of the new house.  In truth, I am really not satisfied yet with our furniture situation, BUT I decided to give you all a hint of how things are looking, so without further ado, here are some photos of my recent picture- and art-hanging escapades.

This is a little piece of our kitchen.  I found this poster in Lake Louise, AB, a few years ago and I love it.  It's framed and mounted in a fairly cheap Ikea frame.  Underneath are a couple of photos from our living room, and bedroom.

Chair free from Freecycle and a wax on canvas that my step-dad gave me ages ago

Wedding photos!  Next to the bowl is a photo of my grandparents.

 

And now to the bedroom.  This is the space between the window and the closet.  I put up some of my favourite wedding photos, one with my fabulous bridesmaids, and one with my dad and brother.

Our new(ish) bed. The needlepoint above was a wedding gift.

 I got this bedside table and it's twin (on Gil's side) off of Freecycle and spray-painted them black.  On the left is just about my favourite pic of my Ottawa girlfriends, and on the right is a great shot of me and my brother when we were little.

Our en-suite bathroom

So, there's a little glimpse into our digs.  I'm not much of a decorator, but I do love hanging pictures as it makes things feel more like our home and not just any old house!

Settling In

Hi friends!  After a few heavier posts, I thought it might be time for a brief update on how our lives are going and how we are getting settled.  I'll post some photos of the new house at some point, but for now there are a few areas that need to be organized, so that'll have to wait.

First of all, we LOVE the new place.  Or at least, I love it and Gil seems happy here (he is generally a mellow personality and probably wouldn't use the word love unless referring to me or perhaps to the Liverpool Football Club).  While my husband works so much that he doesn't have much time to enjoy having a yard thus far, I am loving the fact that I can sit out on the porch to read. 

I'd have to say, though, that living in a house has been a humbling experience for me.  Gil and I are realizing how much we don't know.  We've both been grown-ups for a long time, but have lived primarily in apartments and condos, so are just beginning to realize we need help.  We do not know how to operate our gas lawn mower.  I don't know how to take care of a garden or even how to start one.  It's pretty embarrassing to have someone say, "You do know that you have to water your grass, right?"  (Except that today it is pouring, so nature's taking care of that for us!) 

It is also humbling to have to take things slowly.  I have moved many times, and I generally like to get everything set up ASAP.  With this home, I'm realizing that I need to take my time and be sure about where things will look, rather than just jumping in.  I am setting up a home, rather than a temporary lodging.  Fortunately, we like the paint colours that the vendors used, because we don't know much about painting either!

In sum, we are thankful to God for providing this home, and thankful for the learning opportunities that have come with it.  And even though the house isn't photo-ready, here's one picture of our peonies that bloomed last week:

Long Weekend

Now that we're settled into the new house, we were able to spend the long weekend enjoying lovely weather and relaxing... sort of.  In fact, Gil worked all day yesterday and part of today, and I wrote a Chinese test over the weekend.  Other than that, though, we took some time relax, have a Saturday-morning brunch, attend a friend's barbecue, go out to a Thai restaurant (I'm seeing a food theme), and just generally enjoy the time.  Here are some images from our weekend:

My brother's kitty came to stay with us for a few days. 

I love this photo, as it kind of seems like he's laughing or really surprised. 

We have peonies about to bloom beside our garage.  So pretty!

Today I spent a lazy afternoon reading on my front porch.  It was delightful. 

Happy Victoria Day!

We've Moved!

I'm happy to announce that we are *finally* in our new home!  I'll post pictures at some point when things are more organized, but so far I am enjoying the chance to get things set up at my own pace.  The move went great:  No injuries and no arguments, both by the grace of God.

After living in such a small space, being in a house is a bit of an adjustment.  Gil and I find ourselves frequently calling out, "Where are you?" as we are not used to losing sight of one another.  It is also lovely to hear birds outside and see the green of trees through the windows.  In short, life is great and we are very happy.

Since I'm a little nuts, I ran my 10K race with my mom on Sunday morning.  Yes, that would be less than 24 hours since we had begun the move.  It went well and I was happy with my time, and more than that, I got to share the experience with my wonderful mom on Mother's Day!  Now I'm giving my body a few days vacation. 

Thanks to all who prayed for us during this process, and for everyone who offered us assistance.  We appreciate it and we feel very blessed!

God Is Good

Sorry for the lack of updates lately, friends.  I don't even have a good excuse.  I've got a few post ideas rattling around my mind, but have not actually put pen to paper, or rather, fingers to keyboard.

God is good!  I say this on what should be a disappointing day.  We were supposed to move today.  I spent most of this week packing up, moving clothes, books, dishes, and subsequently unpacking them at the new house.  Gil was out of town until Thursday, so I took the opportunity to really make a huge mess dive into packing and get things done.  The hope was that today, we'd just have to move Gil's clothes and papers, as well as our couch, mattress and box spring, coffee table, and kitchen table.  Not so.  It turns out that UHaul completely messed up our order, and it being the last Saturday of the month, we were not able to find another cargo van.  Sigh...

BUT...  God is still good in this situation.  In fact, He is glorified in it.  Yesterday, instead of being in turmoil about the uncertainty (and I am a planner and very uncomfortable with uncertainty),  I spent a good time in prayer and asked for His hand in the situation.  Instead of being distressed about the delay, I was able to look at the blessings we have and remember that in a few years, this delay will be forgotten and it will seem like our time in this tiny condo was a small blip in our life together.  More than that, I was reminded of the bigger things to pray about:  character, submission, etc., rather than just focusing on, "God, this is what I want" kind of praying.  He is so good!

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

James 4:13-15

An Ode to My Condo

Today is a bit of an emotional day for me. Today is the day that new tenants move into my Ottawa condo. Don't get me wrong; I'm very happy that this day has come, or at least my bank account is very happy. On the other hand, the condo was a huge step for me and the place where my life took place for several years, so it's strange to think of other people living there.

How I ended up in the suburbs is really a story of God working in my life. I had been renting the same apartment for over two years, sharing it first with one friend, then another. When my second roommate told me she was leaving, I started to wonder what to do next: Should I move to a smaller place on my own, or seek out another roommate, one who might also have to take off and leave me with a room to fill? My best friend was buying a condo in a new development, and suggested I check it out. The idea slowly came to me: I could be a home owner. Me. I could do this.

My biggest reservation was fear. What if I couldn't handle this big step? Did this mean I was a real grown-up? (Apparently three years of gainful employment and having my own car didn't count...) Did owning my own house make me one of those independent women that would scare away single men? Despite my misgivings, I made the choice (okay, my parents helped a little), and ponied up more money than I had ever spent at one time.

The condo in the midst of packing to move out.  Note how nicely organized I am with my tax documents.  :-)

And then I waited. It was seven long months until my home was finally finished. In that time, God provided through some belt-tightening times. I found a temporary sub-letter who ended up being a 60-something vegan hippie. (Very nice, but extremely odd.) Finally, the day had came and I took possession. I brought a couple of boxes in, did a prayer walk around the rooms, and played guitar in my living room for a while, just so the place would feel like it was mine. A couple of days later, half a dozen of my dearest friends came to help move (and two of them even baked cupcakes and unpacked my dishes while I went back for the second van-load).

My Spadina sign (available from Walloper.com)

My condo became home. I hung up my grandma's oil paintings and this awesome wall decal that reminded me of the Toronto subway. (Yes, such a nerd.) The cats found their favourite places to sleep. In my condo, I hosted my first (and only) dinner party. In my condo, Gil and I spent many hours watching movies and talking while we were dating. In my condo, I bawled and mourned when my beloved kitty Scout died. In my condo, I planned our wedding and put personalized stickers on hundreds of Hershey's kisses. And now some other couple will be starting their life out in my condo.

Community

I miss Ottawa. Not every moment, or even every day, but I do miss it a lot. There are many things that I love about being back in my hometown, like seeing my husband every day (!!), being close to family, an insane amount of restaurant options, the subway (seriously, I love the subway), etc. BUT... it's been a change, and not always an easy one.

We were back in Ottawa this past weekend to attend a wedding, and it just made me so happy to be in a room with so many friends at once. I have friends in Toronto, but only a couple, and we only really hang out one on one. Then we got to go to my church on Sunday morning and it felt like... home. People said hi to us (and not just “greeters”). People wanted to talk to us after the service. We felt loved and supported. It was sad to leave Ottawa.

This disparity was even more in evidence yesterday. For some reason, I just felt anxious. I was stressed over searching for work and worried about paperwork that had to get done to rent out my Ottawa condo. I just felt on edge, and worse than that, I felt alone. It seems like the friendships that I have here are just not very deep, even though they are people that I've known for many years. These are girls that are great to have lunch or go to the movies with, but not people who ask how I'm really doing. That's probably my fault too. I have not been around enough to allow those relationships to develop. Anyway, it doesn't bother me when things are good, but yesterday I just missed the deep friendships that I have in Ottawa.

All is not lost, however. I have to remember that getting connected takes time, and that even though I don't think our current church does enough to help people integrate, I know that God does MORE than enough. Today I went to ladies prayer group and was invited to a Bible study next week. Then at the end of the meeting, another lady asked me out to coffee. Some of these women have been coming to prayer group together for what seems like decades. It was so nice to feel like part of the group, and to think that one day, this church and this city will really feel like home too.